Keep the Bubble Air Tight!

Some may disagree, but I really think we cannot understand the love from our parents until we become a parent. It doesn't matter if you're adopted, planned, the BIG oops - there's a certain Rite of Passage where you gain years of appreciation and love from your parents, for your parents, and for your child and spouse.

There are no two walks the same in life. Similar paths but different bumps along the way. It didn't take very long for me to understand my mother's love and sacrifice once I had Killian. She struggled in many ways throughout her years (decades)  ;) of child rearing. I've met my own. I appreciate her sacrifices. I understand them wholeheartedly.  I'm not sure if I could say that if Killian didn't have the allergies and "what if" moments he's had his whole life so far. As a matter of fact - I couldn't. It'd probably be more like me rolling my eyes at mom's stories, much like the "When I was your age..." speeches we hear from our elders.  My mom and I have 2 very different journeys in life. Polar opposites. Heartbreak, helplessness and despair were common paths though. And I know neither of us would change it.

With that - not having that appreciation and love until you become a parent, I hope Killian never appreciates our love for him. That would mean his child/children would suffer equally or worse than he has. That's not entirely fair to say, I'm sure he'd disagree with the suffering aspect. I think I speak for Tony and I when I say he has suffered, and will probably suffer more as he grows older. But, it's who he is, and it's who we are now because of it. His path has taken us off of ours and we can't look back at it now, it's just not worth it. I've said it since he was born and I stand by it; "I wouldn't change a thing!".  I just really don't want him to call us one day, as a Dad, and say "WOW! I get it, thank you so much!" He deserves better than that.


I'm not quite sure of my audience here, I know close family members have shared this on Facebook, but I like to know my audience. It helps me address you better. So I'm winging it! Ha ha! I'm assuming most of you do not deal with life threatening food allergies, and I try to best explain OUR experiences to better inform you. There are many much less severe than Killian's and yet there are many far worse, even though it seems his are high on that spectrum. Just a little FYI - most children outgrow their dairy allergy by age 3 years. Another FYI - none of the dairy allergic children I've met outgrew it by then. So much for that! Don't tell an allergist I said that  ;) 

But really, what do these statistics mean? For me, I've finally determined the answer: NOTHING. I'm tired of Google and web MD and every other resource I've exhausted my precious sleeping hours with. They just don't hold any for water us. "So you're saying there's a chance!?" (Dumb and Dumber - the only part of the movie I found funny BTW). That's really what these stats have given me, at least - false hope.  I may throw a few in here every once in a while for a point of reference, but again, they pretty much messed with my heart too much. I'm breaking up with statistics.
I lost track of my audience awareness speech. Sorry. I just want to be sure you understand how different each person's allergies are and how each family handles them. For instance, none of Killian's allergies are or were airborne, meaning he does not have reaction just inhaling particles of the allergen. MANY nut allergies are. Peanut dust has been known to send people into an anaphylactic attack, without ever ingesting it. Since Killian did not have an airborne peanut allergy, we were able to go to homes that served peanut products, within reason. We use our discretion based on our knowledge of how and when he reacts. If we were to let someone else bring him, we would not allow him near any allergens in a home.

Setting aside the food allergy, the introduction of the severe dog allergy he had last year has also put a damper on things. Our list of houses to visit has nearly diminished. And therefor, so has our baby sitter's list, which was very short to begin with. My best friend has 2 dogs and we are able to visit when the dogs are not there, (and she has de-furred as much as one can) but not without taking some meds first. One of her dogs is "hypoallergenic". But really, like the allergist told us "if it has skin, it sheds. If it has saliva, it can cause a reaction."  I had to ask her, as I'm beyond sick of the strangers telling me their dog is friendly, loves kids, has human hair, hypoallergenic, etc...  If your dog licks my child, he can have a bad reaction. Let's complicate it a little more. If your dogs eats a milk bone and licks my child, we will surely be in the ER. Many pet foods contain dairy, so if you're keeping track, that's right! I check not only our food for dairy, but also cat food for dairy. Wish I thought of that before we adopted her! Ahhh, but like Killian, she's the best and I wouldn't change a thing. Again, this may not be the case for every allergy having person, but keep it mind and err on the side of caution please.

Now I'll move onto the mold. It's another fairly new allergy so we haven't had many reactions to know what to look for. All I can say is a musty basement sent Killian into a coughing fit requiring us to medicate him with both Benadryl and an oral steroid. One for the memory bank!  You can probably see a pattern here? We have to be very careful as to which homes we accept invitations to. Your home doesn't have to be old, moldy or dirty. You could have a very beautiful home, but just dampness in the basement will set Killian off. We have a very small home. So small that the TWO air purifiers create a breeze cold enough to send me into a search party for a blanket. Yes, just 2.  Naturally I got nervous when we first entered his very old, Catholic school but it's been fine.  Sadly we've had to decline several birthday party invites from school friends, for different reason. Parties at the child's home I don't even bother telling Killian about. I can't very well call a mom and say "My son has allergies, do you have a dog?" OK, I can. But can I call and say "My son has allergies, is your house moldy? Musty?" Yeah....see that line of concern and insult, I've crossed it. Some are pizza parties or ice cream socials and 16+ little ones with dairy all over their faces and hands, running and playing. That's just a recipe for disaster in our playbook. Have you ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese restaurant? Killian has not. It is unsafe for him to enter there, my mind can't comprehend crossing the threshold with him. Epi pen or not.

So again, audience, I write to you assuming you know little to nothing of the allergy world. I hope you read and share this, as it is very real and apparently not going away anytime soon for anyone. And please, if you have children, share with them too! No child is too young. I'm hoping the more children learn about it now, the less likely they are to bully in the future. Yes, bully. Children have been known to chase a peanut allergic child with a handful of peanut butter, just to see what happens. I hope I don't have to explain how wrong this is, on so many levels. I hope I've informed you well today and I truly hope you share with others. Not just for Killian, but for all the children and adults with allergies of all kinds, and all severity's. Thank you SO much!